When Tom was alive, he was a lad’s lad. He played the field, as they say. He was rough and tough and didn’t have a care in the world. He said it as it was and didn’t mince his words. Every other word was a swear word. He spent much of his time inebriated to a point where he hadn’t a clue what he was doing. He injected himself with drugs and tried all sorts of chemicals for a fix. He’d destroyed the life of several women and left a few offspring around the county he lived. But he never had the time of day for them. Tom spent more time in prison and in police custody than free. He had a criminal record for GBH, ABH, burglary, shoplifting, and a few other nasty things.

Tom was a very dislikable character and when he was found dead from an overdose, nobody was surprised, least of all, his mother, who was the only close person left in his life.

Some time after his death, Shirley, Tom’s mother went to an event with a friend for a laugh. It was a medium appearing in a local club. Shirley’s friend thought it might be a good night for a bit of fun.

During the evening, the medium looked at Shirley and announced to her shock, “Can I come to you luv?”
Shirley quietly said yes, even though she was not a believer in this sort of stuff.  The medium declared that he had a young man in spirit with him.

“He keeps making me want to say ‘ he didn’t f*!”ing care. Everybody were *&”holes and he thinks you were a *^stard too.

Over the next few minutes, the medium swears every other word and talks in the most ill-mannered way. The audience are shocked. Shirley is utterly embarrassed. She feels small. She feels her face getting redder and redder as she becomes aware of the eyes around the hall staring at her.

Relentlessly, the medium passes the messages from Tom in spirit without any thought or filter. Occasionally, the medium claims, “he’s making me say this – I can’t stop him talking like this to you.”

For Shirley personally, this is obvious her late son Tom in spirit and showing her by using the medium that indeed he lives on, as he was on earth, in the spirit world. The medium has done the job of proving the continuation of life after death for Shirley.

But when she leaves that venue later and retires to her own bed with the thoughts of the evening stewing over in her brain – is she happy? Is she delighted that she’s heard from her son Tom? Does she think the medium was amazing?

What about the medium? Can they go away and be happy with their proof? Could they argue that it is not their job to filter messages from spirit but give it as it is? If you think yes to those statements, I’m afraid you are absolutely and entirely wrong, according to the way I have been taught by the best medium teachers in this country and potentially, the world.

The medium has a duty of care and a responsibility to act in a decent way. If a person from spirit comes through swearing or talking badly, the medium does not have a responsibility to pass that on word for word. There is a big difference between filtering messages and interpreting messages. Interpreting is where the medium has to work with care. Filtering inappropriate behaviour, language, hurtful remarks, rude or nasty words should automatically be filtered without question. The medium has a duty of care to the living, not the dead.

So how should the medium have connected Tom to his mother this side of life without using the colourful language? Go back and read the first paragraph again. All the evidence, all the information, all the stuff that describes Tom is there. Not one single swear word in the entire description.

If the medium had connected with Tom and forwarded that essence of Tom, Shirley would have known it was her son. She wouldn’t have been so embarrassed by it. In fact, her son might have been seen as a lovable rogue.

All mediums have a duty of care and should maintain personal responsibility at all times. Proving the continuation of life is all that is required, not an exact paraphrasing that was offensive when Tom was alive and continues to be so through the medium. Filtering messages is perfectly acceptable behaviour from a caring medium. Who wants to know they have cancer, or they’re going to die soon, or they are going to lose a baby, or their son was a nasty bit of work. Nobody, and that is not the role of a medium.

So when I hear this age-old argument from someone that should know better telling me that I shouldn’t filter messages, I immediately question the knowledge of that person. I will always filter messages from those in the spirit world. I will remove anything that is offensive or inappropriate. There are better ways to prove the continuation of life. Read paragraph one again if you still disagree. ♥

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